Other than that, I'm embroiled in a battle with the billing department of the hospital from which I receive all my medical care for my pre-existing condition. As in, I have, like a $500 bill running with them right now, and they sent me to collections over $45. Which I was totally incensed about, because I'd been making monthly payments to them, like, every single month this year, and a couple of months I actually made two payments to them. So I called them to square all of that up, and I was told that the remainder of my bill would be sent to collections if I didn't set up a payment plan. But when I tried to set that up, they wanted waaaaaay more money per month than I can afford. I mean, we keep it cheap at our house. As in, we don't do cable or Netflix, my husband's cell is paid for by his employer, and I have a cheap no-contract phone so that I have a way of keeping in touch with civilization in case I'm stranded out in the middle of nowhere with three kids while making the 30-60 mile drive that I have to make whenever I need things like groceries, gas, and medication. As in, if I wanted to make these obnoxious monthly payments, I'd have to take them out of my grocery budget. Which, I ain't doing.
Now, let me explain: I've been receiving services from this hospital for the past seven years. In seven years, I've never, ever, ever not paid my bill. Ever. But, apparently, they've totally redone their billing system, and the new one has no long-term memory. Or something. So the CSR said that if I wanted to negotiate lower payments, I would have to fill out an application. Fill out an application, folks. Like, regardless of whether I fill out an application, I can't pay more than what I've offered to pay. But I said, fine, so she mailed it out to me.
Yeah. I got the "application" in the mail a few days later, and, let me tell you: my mortgage application didn't even require as much information as this "application" required. Plus, they wanted the last two pay stubs of every adult member of the household, and permission to check our credit. Um—let me think—NO. So I was totally insulted, because the little letter that they sent with the application was totally demanding and demeaning ("We don't trust you or believe you, so prove that you're too poor to pay the monthly amount of money that we think you should pay."), and the application was ridiculous. As I said, I've been making payments on my bills for the past seven years, and I've always paid them off. Dude, I'm not "applying" for financial aid or bill reduction. I'm simply telling them that I can't pay the monthly amount that they're demanding; here's what I will pay.
So, instead of enabling this pettiness, I sent them their empty application back, along with a nasty letter (they said that if I didn't send the requisite information, it had better be accompanied by a letter of explanation—well, they asked for it!) explaining just what I thought of their system and their demands and their overall suckiness. Or something. This is what I said:
I may have just totally ruined my really, really good credit. But, dude, it felt so good to mail that letter.To whom it may concern:Last week, I received a very unexpected letter from [collection agency name], informing me that [hospital name] had turned my account over to them for collections because of a $45.77 outstanding balance. I immediately called [hospital name]'s billing department regarding the letter because not only had I been making monthly payments on my [hospital name] bills for the entire year (I have enclosed bank records that indicate this), but I had received no phone calls or any indication that [hospital name] was somehow not satisfied with my payments. When I spoke to the CSR in billing, I was informed that [hospital name] has been implementing a new billing/patient records system, and that my account had not had any payments made on it for several months and was past due. The CSR also informed me that the new system automatically sends all past-due accounts to collections. Apparently, because I had been paying off a bill (that I had received prior to the bill sent to collections) from the old system, the monthly payments that I had been making were completely irrelevant. I paid the balance that had been sent to collections over the phone, but I was absolutely insulted that my bill was sent to collections at all, despite my best efforts to make payments, and I was beyond frustrated that your system, apparently, has no actual person reviewing whether an account really needs to be sent to collections.I called your billing department again, later that day, and spoke to a different CSR about setting up a payment plan so that the remainder of my bill would not be sent to collections, but the CSR informed me that I would have to make the first payment immediately, and, furthermore, the minimum payment that your system would have allowed me to make was much, much more than I can afford. I told the CSR that I could pay a lower amount, and she said that I would have to fill out a form, provide copies of my last two pay stubs, and would probably want to provide information regarding my monthly expenses. I agreed to do this, so she mailed the form to me.I received the form in the mail on Friday, 12/21, and as I looked over it, I was again completely insulted. The letter accompanying the form was extremely demeaning and petty, and the information that your form is demanding I supply is completely irrelevant to the situation. My mortgage company didn't even require all of the information that your form requires, when my husband and I were applying for a home loan. I can possibly understand asking for every minute detail of my financial situation if I were applying for financial aid or a bill reduction, but that's not the case. I am simply trying to pay my bill—in its entirety—in increments that are affordable to my family's budget. You do not need to know who the lien-holders are on my mortgage and car loans; you don't need to make inquiries into my credit. None of this information will get my bill paid any faster than I am able to pay it, and it is a gross invasion of my privacy.If you review my payment records, you will see that in the seven years that I have been receiving healthcare services from [hospital name], I have never once failed to pay my bills. And let me be very clear: I will be paying this bill—all of it. I will pay it as quickly as I can, in increments that are amenable to my family's budget. You can take my word for that, you can let my seven-year bill-payment record speak for itself, or you can take this letter as a written contract. But I will not be providing the very personal financial details that your insulting form is demanding. I have enclosed my family's monthly budget for 2012, and while I object strongly to providing this information to you, I have also enclosed copies of my husband's last two pay stubs. If your billing system can't work with this, then perhaps it's time to reintroduce a little human reason, understanding, and compassion to your new system.If you would like to discuss my account further, you are welcome to contact me.
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